Tuesday, June 15, 2010
What to do? What to do??
I have to make some pretty serious decisions....and I'm a little scared. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a single mom of three and my kids are still young enough to need daycare when my young teenager is not available. I was fortunate enough to be a stay at home mom with my eldest and most of my middle childs life, but things have changed and now I have to have a full income on my own. I am working 36hrs a week right now at a bank, but honestly I just don't make enough to pay a mortgage, daycare and everything else. Not to mention the sick days, holidays, running around making sure everyone is where they should be when I'm working.....I have an opportunity to start my own daycare business. I've looked at it at every angle and if I have three children full time or even part time school age I can afford to pay all my bills. The problem is, it's not a guaranteed job. I know people always need daycare, but things change, people loose their jobs, or get sick, or move, all kinds of things happen all the time. I'm so afraid of the uncertainty......But I would be able to stay at home and be here for my children, I would be able to be here for my youngest who is still not in school. I'm so sad that I'm missing him grow everyday that I'm at work away from him, and I would be here after school and they wouldn't have to worry about who is picking them up or who I would have to leave them with if they are not feeling well. As a mom it feels so right, but as a mom and the only adult making all the decisions I'm so afraid of making the wrong choice. I really wish I had a crystal ball that could tell me what the future holds. Some parts of me want to just jump in and take a chance. If it's meant to be it will be, but I also believe we do have some control over our destiny. So what to do?? What to do???
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Well Louise I really believer that if follow your heart, then you can never go wrong.
ReplyDeleteSo Louise where to start. Everything we do we are scared. That just seems to part of our lives as Moms. You are working 36 hours outside of the home and also working full time in the home. You like many other women are overworked and tired. Yes ultimately you are making the final decision but while you are running around think about it. Really think about it you have always made the ultimate decision. Yes you had another adult to bounce ideas off of but as the strong women that we are we do have the final say. So here is my two cents from a women who had done home daycare.
ReplyDeleteYes you are home for sick days, pd days etc. And yes you are with your son all day. But don't kid yourself that, that will mean you have time for him. You will be dealing with two or three other children who may be younger then him or need your attention more urgently then he does. And more times then not he will have to wait. Also your home no longer becomes your own. Toys are everywhere, shared broken etc. Your food bill will increase. You have know job security, no benefits, and the constant concern that you will need to find more kids. Realistically you will have a child for two years. They will come to you at age one and if Mom does not have another child within two years they will be starting full day kindergarten by age 4. You are now out of the workforce longer and we all know getting back in is very difficult. Though you might not need hands on child care your running around with the kids will not slow down.
If you were to stay with the bank. Yes you are away from the youngest all day. But you are still his MOM. You are the most important person in his life. Nobody will replace you. You have benefits more of a chance to move with in the company or even change jobs because you have the job experience.
I can't make your mind up for you but doing daycare is a short term solution. Staying with the bank gives you a little more security but yes being a single mom makes it very difficult when illness happens or PD days, summer vacation etc. I get that the money is not great but what happens two or three years from now when all the kids are in full time school. Will it not be even harder to return back to work.
Louise your in a tough spot. Try to find other women who are in the same boat as you and see if you can do some trading. Also you might be the fulltime parent living with your kids but you are not there only parent. He needs to step up with more of the hands on work. Go get a legal agreement that works out the money situation and don’t let him make you feel guilty or bully you.